Home  News News4U Alcoholic Workshop Notes Adult Children of Alcoholics
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Adult Children of Alcoholics |
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Adult Children of Alcoholics You are in the right place!
Day by day and year by year a special kind of damage occurs within an alcoholic family. Trying to maintain a wishful defensive status quo feeds the disease perfectly. The family supports the alcoholics decline.
The abuse that goes on within the family is often combined with denial that anything wrong is happening, and the children are left to feel the blame.
(this was quoted as an atmosphere of collective insanity..how true!)
Many of us find ourselves playing out our helpless roles again and again as adults and the legacy pervades our lives repeatedly bringing us inner pain and feelings of failure and emptiness. Many children of alcoholics become alcoholics themselves, carrying the disease onto a new generation and completing its cycle.
HOW TO BE CONFUSED (different hand out)
Feeling uncertain, disorientated, agitated, unprotected, and just plain stumped can be very good for your recovery and children of alcoholics often feel this way. In the process of our spiritual recovery the the masks we once wore are stripped from us and we feel the panic afresh and the refreshed rage and helplessness we adapted during the nature of our home environment. These feelings inspire fear, and they can make us feel stuck in our past.
As we become more comfortable in our increasing integrity, we still may find our emotional landscape in glorious disarray. This is normal for us contact with others who are in the same state, and it is often tempting to slide back into the closet or the bottle or come to a meeting and spread the fertilizer around. The deeper our immediate difficulty the more COA's we can connect with.
The roots of our anger, fear, and heartache run deep into the earliest layers of our soul's experience and it hurts as we start facing reality.
The distorted self image begins to be challenged daily. As a residue or our upbringing we may get moralistic with ourselves, and interpret our powerlessness as punishment. If we can just be good enough, obedient enough, we will finally get taken care of but these are self blaming and self defeating.
Confusion, isolation, and self doubt are the natural result when we are so continually forced to withhold our strongest feelings that we began to disown them. In coming back to life we need to stop denying the horrors which we are leaving behind us to regain our own identities. This reunion with our long lost self is more momentous than meeting a long lost relative. Your recovery in a program may not be comfortable or controllable but you have come this far.. and you are underway. And you are not alone.
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